"The Bachelor" Season Premier Recap

The three-hour season premiere of "The Bachelor" happened last night and 45 minutes in to the show, not one contestant had even excited the limo. The first hour was mostly wasted checking in at various "watch parties" across the country.  (Which is ironic because we were watching the "watch parties" who weren't watching anything!) Finally, after several former contestant appearances and two surprise fan proposals the first impressions began. 

To save you about 2 hours of your life, here's what learned on night one:

  • "Taking it slow" dressed as a sloth gets you sent home quick
  • You can interrupt conversations with Colton FOUR times and still get a rose (Catherine)
  • Colton is a virgin who showers a lot and "isn't necessarily waiting for marriage"
  • Arriving as Cinderella via horse and carriage gets you sent home by midnight (Erin)
  • Catherine obviously this year's villain, and she brought her tiny accessorized dog
  • Colton is "smitten" with the California speech-pathologist, Cassie
  • Demi has never had a serious boyfriend, chose this as her opening line: "I haven't dated a virgin since I was 12," and STILL got a rose.
  • Erika McNutt, gave Colton a giant bag of nuts so he would remember her name, and he still forgot it
  • Colton may prefer blondes, five of the seven ladies sent home had dark locks
  • Two contestants are former Miss USA foes: Caelynn (who got the first kiss of the season) and self-proclaimed "hot mess express" Hannah B.
  • Three ladies got smooched on the first night and in this order: Caelynn, Katie and Hannah G (first impression rose).
  • There were way too many "virgin" references including "v-cards", popping a cherry balloon, and McNutt straight up asked him WHY he hasn't had sex yet
 

Meredith's Prediction Report Card - Week 1

  • 1st Impression Rose: Erin - F  WRONG! She even got sent home. This very important rose went to Hannah G. 
  • Villain: Catherine - A+ CORRECT
  • Stands Up to Villain: Tahzjuan - C+ WRONG, but Onyeka did confront Catherine and they both have tough names to spell so I get some credit. 

Meredith's Grade to Date: C-/D+ 

Predictions still to be determined this season:
Girl Who Cries the Most: Angelique
Party Girl/Gets Drunk: Elyse
Has a child: Caitlin
Sleeper Favorite: Tayshia
Winner: Cassie

See you next week..... for the most dramatic predictions in Meredith Michael's Bachelor blog history! - MM

 
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