HauerTo: Throw a Mardi Gras Bash Without the Next-Day Regrets

Mardi Gras is all about beads, booze, and bad decisions—unless you're hundreds of miles away from Bourbon Street and actually want to remember the fun. Good news: You can still laissez les bon temps rouler (let the good times roll) without blacking out or waking up to a house full of strangers and regret. Here’s how:

1. Dress the Part—Without Going Full Bourbon Street

Sure, in New Orleans, anything goes—feathers, sequins, and questionable life choices included. But you can still channel the spirit with purple, green, and gold everything. Bonus points if you wear a mask, because nothing says "Mardi Gras" like looking mysterious while eating an embarrassing amount of King Cake.

2. DIY Parade (Because You’re Not Renting a Float)

New Orleans has parades; you have a hallway and an overenthusiastic group chat. Hand out beads, blast brass band music, and dramatically toss candy at your friends while strutting through the living room. If your dog isn’t wearing a tiny Mardi Gras hat, are you even celebrating?

3. The Drinks: Keep It Festive, Not Fatal

Yes, Hurricanes and Hand Grenades are iconic, but maybe avoid making cocktails that double as memory erasers. Try a scaled-back, still-delicious Sazerac, a rum punch, or—hear me out—just a fancy mocktail. Turns out, you don’t need five shots of bourbon to have a good time. (Who knew?)

4. Feast Like You’re on Bourbon Street

Mardi Gras without good food is just Tuesday. Serve up some jambalaya, gumbo, or a po’ boy to keep things authentic. And of course, King Cake is a must. Whoever finds the tiny plastic baby inside? Congrats, you’re either hosting next year or legally responsible for the group's snacks.

5. Music & Madness—Minus the Chaos

Create a playlist full of brass bands, zydeco, and jazz to set the mood. If you want a more interactive experience, throw in a game of Mardi Gras trivia or a friendly "who can bead-toss the best" competition. It’s all the fun of a night out—without the street performers trying to charge you $20 for a blurry selfie.

So, there you have it! A Mardi Gras party that brings all the fun without the what happened last night? panic. Now go forth, throw some beads, and party like you’ve got a parade rolling through your living room.